Hi friends…I apologize in advance but this is not a crafting related post at all but something I’ve been needing to write about just to get my thoughts down somewhere. I’ll be back tomorrow with a fun blog hop but I hope you’ll excuse me today. A year ago today I lost a big piece of my heart around 5:00 PM and it is unbelievable to realize that it’s been a full year since we said goodbye to Merlin.
We don’t know exactly when Merlin was born but it was approximately the summer of 2002. Originally I was supposed to be his foster mom and I picked him up from another foster two days after Thanksgiving in 2005. He spent two weeks in a shelter until our rescue group discovered him and I still cannot believe that no one adopted him when he was in the shelter. I’m convinced Merlin must have been waiting for us. As a side note, we also discovered that he had kennel cough and we realize how lucky it is that no one at the shelter noticed because that generally is a death sentence for a shelter dog because they don’t want it to spread through the entire kennel. So we always guessed at his age but celebrated his “gotcha” day on November 26th.
I knew the moment I saw him that he would never be going anywhere without me. And for almost 12 years he was by my side constantly. He came to my studio where I taught lessons…he attended my graduate harp recital…he was part of our wedding (and the most popular member of the wedding party)…he came on our honeymoon. Except for a few rare occasions, we pretty much didn’t travel unless he could come, too.
He was a truly amazing old soul. The gentlest, sweetest, most anti-sheltie like sheltie you’d ever meet. Shelties have reputations for being barky, neurotic, and a little high-strung but Merlin was so mellow and laid back. We used to joke that if someone was trying to cast a movie with Merlin he’d be narrated by an old British gentleman like Ian McKellen. He loved to sit at my feet when I practiced the harp or piano and several of my students learned to play their instruments while he listened politely in the background. When I used to teach down in Harrisonburg once a week he came to lessons and was a regular fixture in my studio. In fact, the one time I left him at home with Steve when I drove down for a studio recital I had a few adult students panic because they couldn’t imagine performing without him being there as a steady, calming presence. After that I was not allowed to leave him behind. Anyone who met Merlin loved him.
Before we adopted Archimedes, Merlin had two other canine best friends: Patches, Steve’s childhood dog and Atticus, my mom’s dog. Sadly both dogs passed away within months of us bringing home Merlin but we have wonderful memories of him playing with both of them. This was one of first photos we have of Merlin when I brought him home to my parents’ house to meet them and he and Atticus immediately hit it off. We couldn’t get a still shot of them because they were having so much fun running around the backyard.
Yes, we even got him a life jacket so he could go sailing on my dad’s boat… 😉
And in 2009, shortly after Steve and I got married, Archimedes joined our family and Merlin fell absolutely head over heels for Archimedes. We had fostered several shelties prior to Archimedes (including Blu who was adopted by my in-laws) but they never really clicked with Merlin. He tolerated all the dogs that came into our house but Archimedes was the first one that he just adored.
You’d never find one of them without the other…even hanging around the house they generally stayed together in one room. The exception being my craft room…Archimedes was not a fan of the sound my Silhouette made so he’d stay upstairs with Steve and Merlin would sleep under my worktable. Though once we adopted Rogue, Archimedes would stay in my craftroom to avoid the cat. Ha.
A year later, the only regret I have of Merlin’s last day is that if I had realized that would be our final trip to the vet I would have brought Archimedes so that he would have been able to say goodbye, too. The frantic rush to get Archimedes and Rogue put away so that I could get Merlin to the vet was not the goodbye they deserved and for that I am truly sorry.
I see reminders of Merlin everyday when I walk around our house. We specifically built several features of our house with him in mind like a full glass backdoor so he could look outside at the birds and wide windowsills so he could easily get his front paws up to look outside (this was not exactly what we had in mind…but he really did enjoy barking at those squirrels)…
All this to say, that the piece of my heart that Merlin took is still gone but everyday it gets a little less painful to think of him and each day I remember more and more of the good memories of him and the bad ones grow more faint. He was such a big part of my young adult life and so many of my milestones are tied to him. I could write about him everyday and still not capture just how amazing he was. He adored us and we adored him. I found this anonymous quote years ago when we first adopted him and it makes me teary everytime I read it but I like to think of it when I think of Merlin.
“He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion.”
Goodbye Merlin and thank you for loving us so much. We will see you again someday.
November 26th, 2005 – April 3rd, 2017
I too lost a fur baby a year ago in March. I had my Yorkie, Shad, for 16 loving years. They do leave a hole in your heart.
Carla from Utah
BEAUTIFUL Jess. Thankyou for sharing your wonderful story. I just wrote a comment that was probably the longest reply I’ve ever made to a comment but then I pressed exit instead of a full stop lol. You and Steve will have wonderful memories of Merlin forever. HUGS to you both. (((((Hugs))))) xxx
What a beautiful tribute Jessica, he looked amazing and by your words it feels like we all knew your fur babe, what a blessing to have such wonderful memories
Thank you for sharing his story. My heart breaks for you and I know that everyone reading it is crying with you, too.
Oh, Jess what a beautiful and heartfelt tribute to your sweet Merlin. Anyone who has been “owned” by a dog will understand the beauty of such a true and lasting friendship. I’m sure there are others, as I was, who were moved to tears by your sweet, sweet story. I am reminded of our beautiful German Shepherd whose name really didn’t fit her size (120 pounds) but honestly fit her “cute” personality. Buffy. In her heart, Buffy was truly and completely in love with my Dad, who we lost 2 years after Buffy came into our lives and I was 10 years old. Fast forward 12 years later when Buffy passed away and there were my 6 siblings and I, standing over Buffy’s grave and crying like babies. My eyes still tear when I think of the love she shared with all of us. You, Steve and Merlin were truly blessed to have found each other as our family has now been blessed with our funny, silly and loving rescue dog Milo. He is definitely our “owner” and shares his love with us each and every day. Thank you so very much for sharing your memories of Merlin. I loved reading each and every sentence. ~HUGS~
#kindnessmatters
#lovearescue
Jessica, what a beautiful and heartfelt tribute to your precious Merlin. The loss of our furry children is devastating. The unconditional love of a dog is special beyond words. Their physical abscence from our lives is difficult. 💕🐾
I,m sorry for your loss.
Such a wonderful tribute to Merlin. And no apologies are necessary–this is your blog and you can share whatever you like and I’m glad that I got to see this post today. Hugs!
hang in there enjoy happy memories
I understand totally what you are going through. We had a sheltie named Navarrone and he was our joy, We were a pick of three, not two human and a dog or a dog with two people, we were three. He knew my husband as the alpha and me as the omega and he was so happy to be in the middle. He brought us so much joy. One Sunday morning we were getting ready to go for our walk and he collapsed with a cry and when we took him in, the vet said he had a heart attack, and a bad one, We gad to make the decision and we explained to him that he would have to go for a walk alone that morning, but we would always be with him. That was a long time agom but it still breaks my heart to think of it.I know there will be a lot of other people writing about their beloved pets also, so know you are not along in missing your little love!
A beautiful sweet friend!
Oh Jessica I’m so sorry your heart is breaking. I too lost a pup. She was a rescue German Shepherd. Her name was Pearl. The most loving smartest dog. She hated thunder and lightening and would go in our bedroom, shut the door and sit in the corner facing the wall so she wouldn’t see the lightening. She actually opened the doors by the door handle. She lived until she was about 13. It was a sad day when we had to put her down. The vet was wonderful. He let her lie on my lap. I slept w/her little kerchief and chain for months. The tears flowed for many years and I hang on to the wonderful memories. So Jessica hold on to your wonderful memories.
Regards,
Gayle❤️🐶
Cant believe its been a year. Beautiful post thank you for sharing it with us. Hugs to you all!
Beautiful post
So glad you shared your wonderful memories with us, Jess. I know what you are feeling as our awesome black Lab, Duchess, passed away 2 years ago & I still miss her every day. I couldn’t bring myself to wash the patio door for 3 months after she left us a her nose prints were still there. Dogs are wonderful companions!!
Sorry for the loss of your fur baby. It’s amazing how they burrow deep into our hearts.
Aww, Jess! I’m so glad Merlin was so blessed to have found such a loving family. I’m so sorry you’ve lost him and that the pain of losing him has returned – he seems so special! My heart is happy knowing what an impression he has left on you and I’ll bet he misses you dearly also! Sending you lots of hugs!
i have tears in my eyes reading about your wonderful Merlin.
It hurts so bad when we lose our furr babies. They give such unconditional love and bring such joy! Hugs. Merlin was a lucky furr baby.
Jess, thank you for sharing Merlin with us. He touched so many lives during his lifetime and now he’s touched a few more. Sending you big hugs and hoping that the pain of his loss continues to fade into the joy of his memory.
Thank you so much for sharing this with us. I just took my sweet 17+ year old Biscuit to the vet yesterday, wondering if that was going to be the day. It’s been a rough several days, weeks, months, years (she had her first major illness 6+ years ago), but I would do it all again for any one good day I have with her. We got another reprieve with an antibiotic shot and another good day. I can’t express to you how your blog post today has helped calm and reassure my heart. Thank you.
When you have a super special baby, the loss never goes away. It will be 6 years this July 4th that I said goodbye to my old lady Dixie. I had for for 16 years. She was devoted, gently, comforting and generally the best dog I could have ever hoped for. I still miss her terrible!
HUGS!
Beautiful tribute. Totally get the need to address and celebrate your time with your Best Friend.
You’ve moved me to tears with your beautiful, heart-warming tribute to Merlin; your love for him – and all your furbabies – is deep and genuine! I’m reminded of my miniature schnauzers who went to Rainbow Bridge several years ago; not a day passes that I don’t think of them. Hopefully, Casey and Squirt are playing with Merlin right now….
Hugs and love~carol
Awwwww…my heart goes out to you…..I’ve been blessed to have several special fur babies over the years…and have one now that is 12 and will cross the rainbow bridge sooner than I want……Merlin was a beauty….and what a sweet gift from God to you and all that knew him……thank you for sharing your love and memories of Merlin!